No man likes to talk with one who spouts off.
没人愿意和说起来没完没了的人聊天。
刚认识不久的外国小伙伴,你能跟人家混成见面熟吗?别再拿自己口语不够好当借口了,还是想想你的社交策略吧!跟老外聊天,什么该问什么不该问,你造吗?如何加深彼此的好感,你了解不?下面这10个跟老外聊天的技巧,可以帮你火速找到小伙伴。
多问开放式的问题。
Ask open ended questions.
那些问了半天,只能让对方蹦出两个字的问题,就别再问了。想要进一步增进了解,还是聊点儿能让人滔滔不绝的话题吧!毕竟聊得多了才更有可能进一步交往嘛~
It is difficult to connect with someone if you ask them questions that can be answered in two words. There is no chance for a connection to develop. Instead of asking, “Where do you live?” trying asking “What do you think of your neighborhood?” Instead of “where did you get that shirt?” try “What do you think of the new store in the mall?” The longer you talk, the more chance there is for a connection to grow.
找找你们的共同点。
Find things in common.
好朋友聊得来,首先要有共同话题。如果对方说自己在银行实习,你可以提提你在金融圈的亲朋好友。如果对方爱看真人秀,那就从你喜欢的节目聊起吧!
If your potential new friend interned at Credit Suisse, discuss that your brother works in finance. If she is all about reality TV, tell her which shows you’re into. Friendship is built on commonalities.
多聊点感受。
Use emotion words.
讲话内容太客观实则枯燥乏味。如果你想让对方感兴趣,那就多聊点你的感受吧!比如出门旅行这种事,与其唠叨那些细碎的经过,倒不如跟大家分享你差点找不到北的囧事儿,和如何打发漫长旅途的郁闷。
Sticking to the facts makes a conversation dry and boring. You want to capture your new acquaintance’s interest by using emotion words so they can connect with you on a genuine level. Instead of going into detail about where you stayed on your trip to London, talk about how anxious you felt when you almost missed your connection. Instead of describing how long your commute is, discuss how much you dread that hour of your day.
对方让你想起了谁?
Think of who this person reminds you of.
不管是身边的亲朋好友,还是电视里的名人明星,如果你发现对面这个人和其中哪位有些相似,就大胆说出来吧!大部分人还是会认为这是认可和称赞哒~
If this person reminds you of a friend, someone on TV, or a public figure, tell them, as long as it isn’t insulting, of course. People love to hear who others think they look or act like. It is flattering that someone thinks about you enough to compare you to someone that they know and like.
讲话要有正能量。
Say positive things.
抱怨和发牢骚就免了吧!人家还没怎么跟你接触,估计就快受不了了。想想看也能知道,谁会跟平时就爱大惊小怪和满满负能量的人做盆友呢?
Don’t complain or whine about your life or discuss how upset you are by friend or work drama. This makes a potential friend wary of getting too close. It can seem like you’re always creating drama and negative energy, which is a turn off.
别做大嘴巴!
Don’t gossip.
爱跟别人说闲话的人,旁人都不敢跟他们走太近。谁知道你一扭脸,又会说人家什么呢?所以,聊天的时候较好让人家知道你不是大嘴巴,没事儿别老把其他人扯进话题里。
Many people will gossip right back, but then won’t be interested in becoming a closer friend to you. In the back of their mind, they will keep wondering what you’re going to say about them when their back is turned. Try to stay positive and give people the benefit of the doubt when you talk about them, or better, just talk about the two of you without dragging others, who aren’t even there, into the conversation.
别说自己的坏话。
Don’t self-deprecate.
在人前数落自己的不是,会让旁人十分尴尬。这让人家该怎么回应你呢?毕竟不是所有人都能像心理医生那样当你的垃圾桶。
It can make people feel awkward to be around individuals who talk badly about themselves, complaining about their various terrible qualities. They feel like they have to reassure you, and nobody wants to be someone’s therapist.
称赞你俩的好友。
Praise mutual friends.
如果你们都和同一个人是好朋友,那就一起说说他的好话吧!这样做不仅能你们对彼此的好感,还为今后大家一起玩耍创造了机会。
If you know someone in common, talk nicely about them. This will increase the chances that this new acquaintance thinks well of you, and it also makes it likely that the three of you can hang out sometime.
聊聊今后可以一起参加的活动。
Discuss potential future activities.
如果新认识的小伙伴提到了一个你很感兴趣的活动,下次有类似的活动别忘了叫上他们。千万不要太一本正经地拿出手机查你的档期,你立刻表现出热情就好了。
If your new acquaintance mentions an activity that you also enjoy, invite them to join you in the future. Not in a creepy way where you bring out your phone and start looking at the calendar, but just say that you’d love to have them come along surfing the next time you go to the beach, or whatever the case may be.
要个联系方式不必害臊。
Don’t be shy about asking to connect.
想要和人家成为好朋友,就别太矜持了。社交媒体这么多,加个微博微信神马的没什么大不了。如果对方能爽快地接受邀请加你做好友,那说明他对你的印象也还不错。
Plant the seed that you want to be closer friends by saying something like, “I’ll definitely have to friend you on Facebook.” This is also a good way to assess whether this person is also interested in being friends. If they seem excited and later immediately accept your friend request, it’s likely that a friendship may be developing.
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